Becoming a single parent is not an easy decision. It takes courage, perseverance and a deep reflection on oneself. So how can you be sure of your decision and embark on this journey as serenely as possible? Here are 4 tips from our fertility coach, Stéphanie Toulemonde:
1. Before you start, ask yourself the right questions
Think about your motivations, what motherhood means to you, what kind of mother you want to be for your child, the values you will teach him/her and how you would like to see him/her grow.
Now is a good time to also think about your resources, emotional and family-wise as the logistical and the financial aspect.
Don’t hesitate to have a professional accompany you in this intimate and deep reflection, as it is not always easy to carry it out alone.
2. Prepare for the treatment, both physically and emotionally
Emotionally: stay connected with what you feel! Before even starting the treatment, get into the habit of taking a moment each day to connect with your emotions and what you are experiencing. Assisted reproduction treatments are full of roller coasters: don't judge yourself for feeling what you’re feeling, all your emotions are valid and simply human. Becoming aware of them is the first step to living them better.
Physically: take care of yourself and (re)connect with your body! It may seem obvious, but it is essential that you feel good in your body.
Adopt healthy lifestyle habits (without falling into an ascetic life!): try to stop smoking and reduce alcohol as much as possible, and prioritize a healthy diet on a daily basis – while still allowing you little guilty pleasures from time to time! Being healthy is important, but so is feeling good and generating positive feelings.
Activate your body: physical activity is great both for your body and mind! You don’t need to run a marathon, but you can walk 30 minutes a day, do soft pilates or yoga or go swimming. Doing physical exercise allows you to release endorphins and relieve stress – which is so important in this process.
Identify the 2-3 things that do you good physically (sport, natural therapies) and integrate them into your routine.
3. Get informed
Articles, testimonials, books, studies: there is so much literature on the subject. Read as much as you can to make up your own mind, and above all share ALL your questions with the medical team: regarding the treatment, the different stages, the success rates, the alternatives. Don't keep any questions or doubts to yourself, as they might generate additional and unnecessary stress.
Here's a little practical tip: prepare your list of questions in advance before each medical appointment, in order to be sure not to forget anything during the consultation.
4. Surround yourself!
Discuss your decision with loved ones and trusted friends. Talking about it will help you establish your decision and confront some of your fears and obstacles. Identify the person (or the few people) who will be able to support you not only throughout the treatment, but also later, in your life with your child. Who do you want as a part of your child’s life?
If necessary, don’t hesitate to get help from a professional or to participate in support groups (for example She Oak association, www.sheoak-barcelona.com).
Build your own “fertility team”, with both friends/family and professionals who will accompany you in your family project: your clinic, your therapists and your “resource” people.
If you would like to discuss your family project, do not hesitate to make an appointment.
More information and contact info on www.stephanietoulemonde.com
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