11 Oct How to prevent the pursuit of pregnancy from threatening a couple’s sexuality
The search for pregnancy can be a magical time, but sometimes it can be a difficult time for some couples.
Sometimes pregnancy does not come in the first month. Actually, statistics show that the average time in Spain to get pregnant is between 6 months and 1 year. When pregnancy does not come quickly and easily, the couple begins to resort to sexuality with the only objective of reproducing, leaving aside the pleasure part.
It is here where sexuality becomes something planned for the fertile days, where penetration becomes the only thing that matters or even sexuality is seen as a chore instead of a moment of connection and eroticism in the couple.
All this can lead to sexual problems within the couple, which may disappear when pregnancy is achieved or leave long-term consequences. The effects can be various, although the main ones are sexual dysfunctions such as erectile dysfunction, anorgasmia, lack of sexual desire, etc.
All of this can be aggravated when it comes to people who end up resorting to assisted reproduction processes, as in most cases this results in a long journey towards pregnancy.
What guidelines could bring back pleasurable sexuality in a couple?
- Separate sexuality from reproduction
Reproduction is linked only to sexuality, as it is the only way to conceive. Sexuality is not only related to reproduction, but can also entail pleasure and connection. Therefore, sometimes during the search for pregnancy, we should have sex that does not involve penetration in order to focus on a goal other than reproduction. Similarly, patients who are in assisted reproduction should partly separate sexuality from reproduction since they are already in the hands of specialists.
- Enhancing erotic play
Often, when we are looking to get pregnant, we go straight to penetration, leaving aside all that erotic play that excites us and gives us pleasure. But one thing should not take away from the other, that is, even if we are looking to get pregnant, we can still enjoy a long and intense erotic game, which subsequently favours lubrication and helps the sperm to reach the eggs.
This tends to happen a lot in men with erectile dysfunction, because when they perceive a strong erection they go straight to penetration in order to achieve their goal.
Along these lines, those who are in assisted reproduction sometimes lose interest in sexuality because they no longer see the functionality. Although it can be complex to make this shift in thinking, sexuality can still provide many positive experiences.
- Keeping to a schedule, but not too strict
It can be helpful to know when you are ovulating to increase your chances of pregnancy. However, we need to be flexible. That is, we can have sex even if we are not ovulating, and in the same way we can say no if we don’t feel like it on the day it is “due”.
If we don’t allow ourselves to do that, it will become an obligation with a negative connotation.
It can be a good strategy to start promoting eroticism in the morning, those days that are more fertile, to generate desire and to create a relationship based on passion and not obligation. This can be done with messages, photos, caresses, kisses, etc.
- Working on sexuality if we see a problem
If we see a problem in the couple’s sexuality, we should analyse what we can change so that the problem does not crystallise.
If we see that we ourselves do not have the tools to solve the problem, it would be advisable to see a specialist.
The sexual sphere of couples is a dynamic part that changes according to the stages we go through. In the search for pregnancy, we can suffer from an imbalance and we must be aware of this in order to be able to work on it and avoid possible future problems.