14 Dec How to cope at Christmas and manage your emotions when you’re trying to get pregnant
For some people, Christmas can be a time of joy and family celebration, while for others, it can be a season of sadness, hopelessness, and frustration.
Not necessarily for everyone, but for many people who are trying for a baby, Christmas can be a complicated time. That time of year can reflect their failed expectations. Yet another year is ending, in which they haven’t achieved pregnancy.
Sometimes, when starting a fertility journey, we think of Christmas as the moment in which we will have achieved pregnancy, or in which the baby will already have become part of the family. But when this is not the case, many feelings of sadness and hopelessness can come to us.
And these feelings are very normal. Other people may have similar feelings about other things, such as not having found a job, not having a partner, or not having an apartment. However, Christmas should not mark either an endpoint, or a starting point, but rather a time when we can tuck ourselves in with our loved ones.
But that is another point. Sometimes, our environment can help us feel loved, allow us to talk about how we feel, and help us forget about all those difficult months. But on other occasions, the environment can be another stress factor. I am referring to the endless questions related to your pregnancy and the baby. When are you going to have a baby? Are you already pregnant? What are you waiting for?
Although I understand that most of them do it without bad intentions, these questions can generate a lot of discomfort in people. Sometimes it is because these questions are without answers, and other times it is because the answers themselves are painful.
Regarding the questions, I would say that we are the ones who should learn not to ask them since we are the people who surround them. But in the event that someone comes across this type of questions, and does not wish to explain what they are going through, it is advisable to have a thoughtful phrase that cuts off that and any other future questions.
And what about the little children in our environment that we will meet at Christmas?
For some people, it may have a positive and healing aspect. There are people who, despite having difficulties in conceiving, take every opportunity to be with children, to give and receive affection, and that fills them with happiness.
But the truth is that this is only in the minority of cases. In the other ones, people often feel rejection when they meet small children because it reminds them of their situation, and it makes them feel empty, as well as frustrated.
And this feeling, I emphasize once again, is not pathological. In these cases, I believe that everyone should listen to themselves to find out what they need. I don’t think anyone should force a situation just because it’s Christmas.
At this time of the year, try to surround yourself with people who you think can provide for you, and make you feel at peace.