31 Jul Pregnancy after age 35: options and emotional effects

Age, especially in the case of women, is one of the factors that most affects infertility. We are surprised by this reaction as we perceive ourselves as young and prepared to have children. We consider that it is a good personal moment, maturing and, above all, that we are healthy for it. But, somehow, we don’t manage to achieve pregnancy.

Socioculturally, the perception of old age (“being greater”) has changed in rank. At present, we care much more about our bodies, both in relation to well-being, as well as health. That is why when the gynecologist links infertility with “being older than necessary to reproduce without problems”; “Be older to conceive spontaneously”; or “to be the age the cause of our infertility” or “our body does not work like when it is young”, we have a hard time assimilating it.

We associate infertility with disease and yet we feel healthy and young.

Why does not my reproductive function correspond to how I feel?

Unfortunately, our ovaries lose reproductive capacity after age 35 and, however, 35 currently is the most common time to start trying. This does not mean that with 35 years we can not achieve pregnancy or have children, but that we will find more difficulties to conceive. It is not the same at reproductive level to have children at 32 as at 42. The ovarian reserve begins to be low and / or the quality of the ovules is not adequate.

We can not blame anyone, we have not done anything wrong. There are simply parts of the body that stop working properly. Just as we lose visual or auditory capacity, our reproductive capacity decreases.

If it is our case, we should not blame ourselves but focus our efforts on:

• Accept the new situation with due time and the necessary information for it.
• Look for new alternatives such as IVF treatment with donor eggs and assess them.
• Rearrange priorities
• Fight for what we want.

How does it affect psychologically to attempt a pregnancy after the age of 35?

Psychologically we find infertility hard to accept, often feeling very guilty for thoughts of the type: “why I did not decide before!”, “We did not agree”, “I delayed it because of work”, etc. If you feel this way, remember that the past we can not change, but our future.

If you have problems to conceive naturally or want information about any fertility treatment do not hesitate to contact uswithout obligation.

Atze Mena López

Psychologist specialized in assisted reproduction, couple therapy and Fertty sexuality.

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